FF Fall Fashion '09

Though the heat in the city will persist through September, a tranny-who-lunches is always thinking a season ahead. Kiddies, it's time to pack up your tanks and t's and start shaping your best-for-day fall wardrobe. Some things to keep in mind:

Quality; not quantity:

Go against your size-queen instincts. Bigger is not always better and neither is more for your money. Yes, everyone has seen you in 13 shades of the AA deep v. Enough is enough -- if the budget is tight, think about investing in a few quality versatile pieces that you can mix up and layer. Suit pieces can be worn separately, a nice tweed blazer can take you from your power-bottom-lunch to cocktails at the club after work. Look to invest in things that will last longer than your flavor-of-the-week boyfriend.

Keep it simple:

Any good tranny likes to boost their style with a pop of color, but keep it clean and simple. Play with different textures mixing tropical wools and knits-- layering with your light weight scarves. Avoid mixing prints-- leave that to Wall Street and fashion pros. Nothing says hot-mess tranny like a Barney's retail queen trying to pull-off a Paul Smith stripe with an Etro cravat.

Dress your age:

Come on boys, post college- it is time to start putting your hard earned trust fund where it counts. Every gent past the age of 24 should own good Italian dress shoes (and keep them shined), a well-tailored two button suit, and a suitable winter coat- It would be nice to see tricks from yesteryear in 3/4 length camel-cashmere blend rather than flannel/denim numbers that have taken over our beloved Bedford Ave.

Case in point, I am sick of seeing so much slop and trash walking to the L on Monday morning. Though there are the few who are a day late with the walk of shame home, we need to step it up a notch ladies. Who knows, maybe that boy with the El Beit soy americano will actually notice you in your new Paciotti laceups.