Friday, October 30, 2009
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
GPC (Gay Power Couple) [gee-pee-see] noun: the union of two rockstar homos forming an unstoppable force on business, fame and social fronts. (additional reading: Power Gay)
The GPC formula
Gays who escape their boondock beginnings and make it to any big city are overachievers by nature. When two power queens or über-sucessful Sapphos meet and fall in love, their combined power is multiplied many times more than the sum of their respective parts. For a GPC to be a true GPC, both gays must bring something to the table. For example, Marc Jacobs was not in a GPC when dating Jason Preston because Jason Preston was, well, a prostitute. MJ is now in a GPC with PR and social powerhouse Lorenzo Martone. But beware, the math doesn't always work. Despite being one part Nickelodeon exec. and one part media powerhouse, the Kelli Carpenter Rosie O'Doneell union was never a GPC, end of discussion. The newest Manhattan GPC is Broadway stars Jonathan Groff and Gavin Creel. One is a Tony award nominee for "Spring Awakening" and the other is the star or "Hair", a classic GPC equation.
GPCs Simon Doonan and Jonathan Adler, Ellen DeGeneres and Portia De Rossi, Lorenzo Martone and Marc Jacobs
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
1. True/Traditional Social Networking - One of a tranny's greatest assets is his network, and we don't mean Verizon, chickadee. Like any good tranny you're most likely a people person. You've got 250 numbers in your Blackberry, 800 friends on Facebook and haven't spent a Saturday night alone since George W.'s first term. But what is the point of rampant popularity if you don't put it to good use? Put your connectedness to work. Have an unemployed buddy? Consider who else you know in the field to introduce him to. Have a great friend who's always whining about being single? Shut him up on a dinner date with another boyfriendless buddy. Be a uniter not a divider, like Abe Lincoln, Martin Luther Kind Jr., and Lady Gaga! Make some people connections and good things will happen.
2. Grinder – Oh Apple, up to your old tricks again – looping us DINKs in with your shiny new toys and applications. Our latest find, Grinder, is an application that locates other trannies looking for a little boom-boom and lists them by proximity to you. That’s right, kittens – this app locates your GPS coordinates and lets you pick from a bevy of tickity-tack iPhone-bearing boned-up boys near you. It even tells you how far/close your future trick is located, be it feet or miles. A word of wisdom, though - don’t be lazy. No fake-F*cking (see below), or “Grinding” while your friends are sitting right next to you. Have some couth, Mary. Go big or go home (with your new, big find).
3. In-home Bartenders - A bartender is a cheap way to make hosting your next party mounds easier and a touch more fab. Imagine not worrying about the status of your mixers, bottle-necking in your kitchen or the next-day's clean-up. An in-home bartender takes care of drink-making and inventory all whilst clearing glasses from tabletops as the night unfolds - leaving you with more time to attend to your guests. Bartenders saves money, too: Chug-a-lug Donna won't suck down all your Ketel if she has someone between her and the bottle. And here's a free bartender idea: next time one of your altruistic friends is collecting money for some AIDS walk, invite him to "celebrity bartend" at your house with a donation jar. Tips go to a good cause, your friends get buzzed and everybody wins!
1. Fake-F*cking - We’ve all been down this road once or twice (for some far more than twice!) – so let’s cut the red tape we seem to endlessly create. If you are trolling for a trick online, be it CraigsList, Manhunt, Adam4Adam, etc., make a commitment. Go for the gold, trannies! If you log on, you should get off. No more endless e-mail chains, faceless torsos (that aren’t actually you) or “browsing.” Be a lady of your word and follow through. Might we also suggest the usual weekend Boiler Room/The Hose/Sugarland in-person cruising grounds. Either way, make it work. We all know a girl has needs – no judgment passed. As a wise tranny once said, “You have to get up to shut it down.” Make haste, kitty-kats, make haste.
2. Social media slutiness - A trick is a trick is a trick. Leave it at that. Don’t kick him out and then scramble to piece together enough information to add him on Facebook. Have some class, sass-a-frass. You know you are only friending him to:
a) Show your friends who you went home with last night;While both of the above options are valid, only Facebook friend if you can handle not defriending him hours later when you decided he was a mistake, regret, etc. Be strategic in you Facebook friending. That way, when you do find a worthy ally, you don’t have to suffer the embrassment of going through “mutual friends,” AKA who you both have bumped gingies with.
b) See if his photos indicate he is attractive/worth another romp.
3. Uggs – We can't believe we're still talking about these! We don’t care if you are from Long Island and you “started” the trend. Uggs are best for never. There’s nothing worse than seeing a twink tramp down the street with fake Prada shades and jeans tucked into Uggs – be it boy or girl. Why on earth would you wear suede shoes in the snow? Please spread the word, just like last year’s bout with syphilis, burn your Uggs. Think of it a shoe holocaust: Never again. Ever.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Gong [gawng] noun: terminal fail, complete disaster, an utter disappointment
History and Usage: The concept of Gong originates in the 1970's variety show parody "The Gong Show". On the show, contestants presented their acts before a panel of judges who scored them on a scale of 1 to 10. When an act was particularly heinous, a gong was brought on stage and struck and the act would immediately come to an end. Also, it was the '70s and everyone was high as a fucking kite on Columbian marching powder so . . . yeah there's that, too.
Trannies use Gong today to describe a person, place or thing that is a true mess or let down. For example, "Sugarland on Friday is a real gong show.", "The guy I took home last night was a gonger by the light of day.", "That party is on the Jefferson stop so I'm going to preordain that a gong right now."
Friday, October 23, 2009
Quite the finale to your vinyasa . . .
We were both at Sunac around 8:15 Monday night. We caught each other's eye a few times. You walked outside and were getting on your bike as I was checking out. I walked out and you rode past me. Wish I had the balls to say something... I have buzzed hair and was dripping sweat after Bikram. You were wearing track pants (maybe?) and had a backpack. Let's grab drinks?
For Downward Facing Dog dial 9 : email@example.com
If this were 'Friends' you'd be Ross
we've seen each other a few times. sometimes we're on the same bus. you're cute, and should come upstairs if you want.
poor, sad, Ross : firstname.lastname@example.org
saw you last night at the waterfront ale house watching the game. you caught me looking at you a few times. we both have gray hair. I know this is a long shot but you are really handsome so I thought I'd at least try. hit me up if by some miracle you see this.
Bat and Ball session : email@example.com
Cop Fantasy on the G!
I was working in blue on the G Line today and you got on the train with me at Metropolitan, you had on a kahkis, sperrys, a jacket and backpack. I kinda wanted to keep it professional so I complimented you on your backpack. We exchanged pleasentries about your backpack when we got off at Greenpoint Avenue, and that was that. When you were leaving you said nice talking to you or something to that affect. You are really cute and had the most amazing eyes. If you see this please reply, I would love to chat more with you.
Make his nightstick yours! : firstname.lastname@example.org
Well put your finger on it . . .
You got on the D train at 36th Street in Brooklyn and exited at 50th Street (Borough Park) today around 3:00pm. You had sunglasses pushed up on your head, a camouflage bag and paint-splattered jeans. I am almost certain I know you from somewhere, but I can't quite put my finger on it. I was standing a little ways away from you and we made eye contact a few times as you played with your Blackberry/iPhone/whatever, and I played with mine. Get in touch if you see this!
. . . and in it! : email@example.com
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Monday, October 19, 2009
Friday, October 16, 2009
It's like staring in a mirror . . .
i was sitting eating tue morning, you came in and ordered to go. we made eye contact a couple of times...thought there was a spark in a wierd situation. lemme know if that's true, and anything else you remember. you are very good looking, i am too, but i guess you know that.
Side of NPD with your eggs, babe?: firstname.lastname@example.org
1983 called, he wants his hook-up story back.
you followed me after i stared at you and then we walked around park slope talking and touching each other. we went to the park and jacked each other off. I want to come over to your apartment and fuck, suck and see what happens. should have gotten you number but wanted to keep it discreet. reply to me if you read this.
And that is how your uncle died of AIDS, kids: email@example.com
Cashmere at the Morgan stop?
You got off at the Morgan stop, thought you were really cute.
You were in a hoody, had buzzed hair, tennis shoes.
Haha I've never posted anything on here it's pretty funny bc there pry no way you'll check this
anyways we made eye contact a couple times and smiled. you seem cute let's get a drink;)
I was in a grey cashmere hoody sitting diagonal from you btw. Haha
Next stop, Caviar at Canarsie!: firstname.lastname@example.org
Panda cub spotted in DUMBO!
There was a cute, chubby Asian guy in Dumbo today? I LOVE cute, chubby Asian guys. So if you're looking, think of me! 6'1", brown/brown, 240. Weird post, right? Well, you never know. I'll let the other guy keep an eye out on my behalf. ha.
The only one living outside captivity!: email@example.com
Winner! Grad school, DC and monogrammed sign-off:
I met you on the L after you kept looking at me and we talked about my current trip in DC for the March for Equality rally. You are in your first semester of grad school at NYU. Please reply if you see this. I'd love to continue our conversation from where we left off. Hope you read this and respond. -PJS
And they call it preppy-love: firstname.lastname@example.org
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
1. Wednesday Chelsea Art Gallery Openings - Rustle your feathers and head towards the Hudson on Wednesdays this fall. Art openings are great gatherings to catch up on the tranny trail with colleagues, besties and newbies. Free wine and provocative art are best for Wednesdays. Chelsea offers quite a robust listing of galleries to direct your rump to on hump day.
2. Merino Wool V-neck Sweaters: Cashmere works wonders, but we're in a recession, sweetness. Merino wool offers the softness of cashmere but at a fraction of the price. Wear it to work over an oxford - hell, even dress it up with a bow tie. Go casual and wear it with a pair of jeans, sans-shirt underneath.
3. Halloween Plans: Make haste, make haste! It's time to cement those ghoul day plans and get your costume in order. Don't be stranded waiting in line at Ricky's the day before Halloween. Group costumes are all the rage - even your TTT editors are making it pop with a surprise devotion to a certain Haus of tranny.
1. Old Leather Coats: Get it together, trannies. It's time to clean out your closets and get rid of those tacky, 90's leather coats. Bomber style-coats and buttery, slim fitting modernized coats are all the rage. Leave the past in the past - and the awful cow skin!
2. Closely Cropped Locks: Now that winter is upon us, it's time to put your #2 fade away and let the follicles flow. Slightly longer hair keeps you relevant and at times, warmer. Save your skin-baring cuts for the spring/summer. Let down your hair, Rapunzel - you'll be sure to have a tranny-trick climbing up that happy trail.
3. L Train delays: Even though it is completely out of our control, train delays must be purged. There's nothing like sitting in a steel tube trapped under a river because of "train traffic" ahead - and all while relying on good ol' American tunnel engineering from the beginning of last century. The beginning of winter unfortunately marks the onset of morning train delays. Ugh. I die.
Their blunt and frankly offensive preaching style makes them an easy group to hate, which makes them ripe fodder for documentary. "The Most Hated Family in America" follows Louis Theroux as he lives with the Phelps family in Topeka, Kansas, trying understand the people behind the signs and chants.
The film reveals the Phelps to be a wholesome, close-knit family suffering from mass psychosis. In non-hysterical moments, Shirley Phelps is a really good mom who cares about her children a great deal. Her oldest daughter, Megan, seems to struggle the most with her family's one-of-a-kind belief system. At 21, she's enrolled in college and exposed to what she is missing out on by staying in the church. Megan seems the most likely to bolt the scene and is quick to shut down questioning when Theroux digs too deep. The only member whose beliefs seem unshakable are Fred Phelps himself, the wellspring of crazy in this extended family. He plays the senile card to his advantage and, it goes without saying, holds a cult leader's grip on the 70 members of his church.
"The Most Hated Family in America" is as funny as it is disturbing and at times heartwarming. One of the few members of the church who is not a Phelps family member is Steve Drain. A documentary film maker who, like Theroux, came to live with the Phelps to better understand them, became one of them. It is Drain who takes the viewer through the church's awesome sign production room. The signs he pulls from their inventory are lust worthy for anyone who gets camp: "FAG LOVER LIZ", "DYKE MARTINA", "ROYAL IN HELL" (each with photos of Elizabeth Taylor, Martina Navratilova and Princess Diana) would all make fabulous conversation pieces in a home. And "NO TEARS FOR QUEERS" and "JEW FAGS" tie for most catchy.
The hour-long film will make you rethink the Phelps. Once you get inside their homes and take a peak inside their heads, they are much more human and therefore impossible to simply hate. The Phelps are a family trapped in multi-generational crazy; "Grey Gardens" living on a national stage if you will. "The Most Hated Family in America" is a brief look at one of the nation's zaniest families and a sincere pick for best for day.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
The march began with a good omen; not a cloud in the sky but a rainbow appeared before the crowd made its first steps toward the capital. Perhaps someone from above was showing his (or her) support for love.
Handmade signs were best for day, as seen in the gallery below.
As always, fashion was of the utmost:
As expected, half of New York was in the nation's capital . . . Spotted in D.C. . . . Bravo's president of programing, Andy Cohen and boyfriend plus Target 10's Matt Tumminello and Matt Wagner all at Town after the HRC dinner . . . Paper magazine's editor-at-large Peter Davis clad in full white well after Labor Day. . . Michael Renehan back east from Chicago. . . voice of the Media Matters Minute on NPR, Brandon Hersh . . . New York boys, Michael Benevento, Gabe Figueroa, Michael Hines, Medo Soliman, Alex Carantza, Enrico Contenti, Tim Rathschmidt, David Morganstern, and, as ticity-tac always, Matt Maddox . . . The biggest and brightest New York tranny was of course the Lady Ga. Her incredible performance at the HRC dinner and speech on the steps of the capital building are below.
Lady Gaga shut D.C. down! Literally every tranny was talking about Lady Gaga being in the capital, even the straight ones! The whole weekend was a worked-out, I'll call ya' baaaack, close down. From the march to the parties, D.C. was a hit and the equality movement took a giant leap!
Friday, October 9, 2009
I'm gonna go with NO for $400
waiting on the G at the hoyt schermerhorn station, i believe you asked if the G went to Classon?
you stood on the G by the door opposite to where i was standing, and i think you were looking at me, did you smile?
you got off at Classon but didn't turn back, let me know if this is you and if you are down to hang some time?
Double Jeopardy: email@example.com
There's an App for that.
Hey, so last night you were outside of Hugs bar on n6 smoking. I came up to you and asked if you knew if there was an ATM inside and you said nope. anyways im not sure if you are even gay, or bi, or interested, but you were really cute and if you interested I would like to meet up.
I have a feeling he's a PC: firstname.lastname@example.org
Didn't your mom teach you not to talk to strangers?
You were the cute young waiter who served us Saturday night - I was with my friend (she's just a friend, I swear!) and you had to come back several times to take our orders b/c we were talking too much and were never ready to order. You had the most adorable smile and I tried to make eye contact with you a bunch of times but either you were too busy or were not interested.
My friend and I sat in the mirrored corner - we came in at 8 and stayed for quite a while. She was white; I was black. If you remember me and have any interest, let me know.... ; )
. . . .or WAMRs: email@example.com
Love a DL Haseed!
I've seen you around the neighborhood a couple of times. You're an adorable Jew-boy with the yarmulke and all. Saw you at the CVS tonight with your father (?) and brother (?), and smiled at you in the parking lot. If you're interested, drop me a line, and add a pic so I know its you.
Mazel! : firstname.lastname@example.org
We smiled at each other briefly at the Atlantic/Pacific station while we were both waiting for the train. I was wearing jeans, a black jacket, red Converse. You: skinny, jeans, New Balance sneakers. I thought you were really cute. We both got on the 3 train. I was reading "The Flowers of Evil/Paris Spleen" by Baudelaire and not particularly wanting to engage. As I left the train at Borough Hall, I saw you smiling at me and I unabashedly smiled back right before the train started speeding away. Chances are you won't read this but if you do I would love to get a drink with you. Send me a response with some sort of detail or a picture. Cheers!
Call him, skinny-jean boy!: email@example.com
Thursday, October 8, 2009
In a resent interview with Dave Zirin, sports correspondent for The Nation, Fujita explained exactly why a married-with-children pro-football player is speaking out for gay rights.
Zirin: Scott, you made the decision to lend your name and endorse the National Equality March. Why did you choose to do that?
Fujita: I think for me it was a cause that I truly believe in. By in large in this country the issue of gay rights and equality should be past the point of debate. Really, there should be no debate anymore. For me, in my small platform as a professional football player, I understand that my time in the spotlight is probably limited. The more times you have to lend your name to a cause you believe in, you should do that.
As an adopted child of biracial parents, Fujita's heart for gay rights centers on parenthood:
"A year ago or two years ago, I remember reading about an initiative that was proposed in the state of Arkansas. It was some kind of measure that was aimed at preventing adoptions by single parents. Now, the way I read that and the way that I translated that language was that only heterosexual, married couples could adopt children. As an adopted child that really bothered me. I asked myself, what that is really saying is that the concern with one's sexual orientation or one's sexual preference outweighs what's really important, and that's finding safe homes for children, for our children. It's also saying that we'd rather have kids bounce around from foster home to foster home throughout the course of their childhood, than end up in a permanent home, where the parent, whether that person's single or not, gay or straight. Either way, it doesn't matter. It's a home that's going to be provided for a kid who desperately needs a home. As an adopted child, that measure really bothered me. It just boggles my mind because good, loving homes for any child are the most important thing."Like any good sport, Scott Fujita is humble about what he's doing for the rights of gay families:
"I don't think it's that courageous. I think I have an opinion, that I wish was shared by everybody."Scott Fujita, TTT salutes your courage whether you like it or not. It takes a big man to come out in support of a controversial cause that doesn't directly involve him. Mazel! and you'll be in our hearts as the TTT editorial team participates in Sunday's march.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Saturday evening festivities:
11211- A casual drink with the girls from work in midtown; then home to shower and get out the cheeses vino for apps with you new fall beau and co. by 9:00, you all get to talking about how to redo the living room and decide to order in rather than make a spectacle of dinner. With some talking-into, you head into the city around 11:00 to meet up with some of your straight friends in the east village then heading to boiler for a "nightcap", ah..... reminiscing the summer nights already...
BCN - It's 6:30: beach-time sun had lasted longer than you thought, the oceanside libations kept everything lively. Head back the the apartment for a cocktail and take a nice nap on the terrace. Wake up around 9:00 feeling groggy-- nothing Karl cant help with. Get ready for the evening, friends arrive around 10:30 for drinks before heading out of dinner. Tapas are best for evening-- not too filling, finish dinner around 1 and head to the "Gayxaimple" for drinks with the boys. Stop by a friends for a brief trunk show before heading to Metro disco-- make it there by 4:00 just as it starts getting busy. By 6:00, its choose your own adventure....
Libation of choice:
11211- Oregon pinot noirs and Austrian grunerveltliners at home and the typical $16 cocktail with your straights in the city.
BCN- Dry Spanish whites at dinner. Cuban rum and plenty cold vodka.
Tracks on the dance floor:
11211- Chet baker, Ella, Mr. Davis and God-- a tranny cant help but play a little Ga to get out of the house...
BCN- A.R. Rahman, Ga, Euro-Circuit music
11211 - The more recent trannies that you bonded with on FIP over the summer and their respective interests. Later on, your JAP-y work friends and their various platonic straight-guy counterparts.
BCN - Everyone is a designer of sorts: graphic, interior, clothing..... name your poison. A few boys from Amsterdam that you remember from a few years back.
But, the most notable difference.........
BCN - Not to sound overly enthused but..... hot hot hot. Spanish men and their various Latin American congregants live in the sexiest city in the world; it has that reputation for a reason. Sexuality is very open, very straight forward; something definitely lacking in this part of the world.
The final walk-through is below. Betta' werk that hair!
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Last Friday we sauntered to Fada French Bistro at Driggs and N8th for supper. The quaint, cozy, Euro feel of the place revealed itself as soon as we opened the door. A jazz quartet played in the corner of the amber-lit room dominated by a long bar to the left and a sea of bistro tables on the floor. We sat in the garden, which we highly recommend: the dim lighting is both face-flattering and perfect for hand-holding and stolen kisses. Our waitress was a pretty Padma Lakshmi-type with a great smile. She was quick with the cocktails and highly attentive to the dietary restrictions of one in our company. The ratatouille was hearty and the salade de crevettes et avocats was fresh. Our entrees, chicken and beef, were delicious as well. There was no wait for our table and the bill was 2/3 what it would have been had we dined in the West Village, LES or Soho. Fabulous food, snappy service and lovely lighting; why leave Williamsburg when Fada is best for double dates?
Attention, kiddies - it's time to put on your thinking caps because Tranny Vocab is about to resume. In this series, The Tranny Times explores the varied and wonderful lexicon of Williamsburg trannies. Today's lesson is Bossy Bottom.
Bossy Bottom [baw-see ⋅ bot-uh-m] noun: In technical terms, a dominant recipient of anal intercourse. The Bossy Bottom is accustomed to telling his mate when he wants it, where and how. This behavior usually extends beyond the bedroom into everyday life where he passively but aggressively attempts to manipulate his mate's behavior through whining, pointed text messages and loaded questions.
Lindsay Lohan played the bossy bottom role in her relationship with Samantha Ronson. Below is her musical deposition on bossy bottom behavior.
Monday, October 5, 2009
This Geary-esque fab-creation is the face of the new W Hotel Barcelona which opened this past week. There was an amazing fete on Thursday evening celebrating its tranniness with drinking and dancing until the sun came up. Luckily, the gay beach, Barceloneta, sits at its base which makes for an easy transisiton from night-to-day. Get this on your calendars ladies for August 2010, gaydays are booking up quick and terraces are limited!