Tranny Vocab 16 : Trash

Attention, kiddies - it's time to put on your thinking caps because Tranny Vocab is about to resume. In this series, The Tranny Times explores the varied and wonderful lexicon of Williamsburg trannies. Today's lesson is Trash




Trash [trash] noun. One who lacks social grace, common manners and/or decency, or acts in an overall manner unacceptable beyond the DMV or KFC. Think guests on Jerry Springer or Jenny Jones or anyone who has ever willingly relocated to Nevada. We all know (or might be) one of those people who strolls up to low-key dinner parties, wasted, or stumbles into work late wearing the outfit from the previous day, or gives/receives oral sex in public bathrooms.
While everyone engages in behavior that may fall under the 'trash' umbrella sometimes, in order to be characterized as true trash, one must be a repeat offender and fulfill a certain level of criteria.
Here are some questions you might want to ask yourself when trying to determine if you're indeed trash:

• Do I own any Armani Exchange graphic t-shirts?
• Do I drink Mountain Dew?
• Do I spend my summers at the Jersey Shore?
• Does my skin look like leather?
• Do I have airbrushed tips?
• Do I have, or have ever had, blond highlights?
• Is my mobile phone be-dazzled?

While some of these attributes may seem absurd, there are others that may hit a little closer to home. Other situations that may deem you trash: You get wasted and then scan the bar and/or cocktail tables for unattended drinks to quench your thirst. You secretly bring your own booze to establishments that serve alcohol. You can't remember where you are or how you got somewhere when you wake up in the morning -- and you aren't surprised or worried. You find yourself standing on the toilets in Sugarland while your friend feeds you a bump with his apartment key.

Signature quotes of trash: "Oh, I never wear underwear on first dates. I just can't be bothered with looking all over the floor for my underwear the next morning," or "Yes I posted a pump and dump on craigslist last night -- girl's gotta get laid," or "Hell yeah -- I hit that shit and got myself OUT THE DOE'" (in reference to a crack pipe in Bedstuy).

At parties or big events, it's always easy to pick out the trash. He will be the one hoarding free drinks and hors d'oeuvre, and attempting to get into the VIP section even though he is only there because he came with a friend of a friend. Also don't be surprised if this person is seen out on the patio trying to bum cigarettes or flirting with someone's boyfriend (right in front of them). And that's when you know it's time to grab a Hefty bag -- and take out the trash.

See also: White trash, Trailer trash, Southern trash.

Tranny Vocab 15 : The Younger Man

Attention, kiddies - it's time to put on your thinking caps because Tranny Vocab is about to resume. In this series, The Tranny Times explores the varied and wonderful lexicon of Williamsburg trannies. Today's lesson is The Younger Man.



The Younger Man [th ee yuhng-ger mhan] noun. The male who is markedly younger than his mate: from seven years to infinity. In this sort of relationship, The Younger Man simultaneously holds all the cards and none at all. The Younger Man is youthful, enthusiastic and open-minded to his lover who is (often) more successful, mature, connected and interesting.

Pros of being The Younger Man:

• Top-notch dinners that come to a close with someone else picking up the check.
• Invitations to parties without a keg or BYOB policy.
  
• Easy entré into otherwise closed circles of influential individuals.
• In-depth conversations on the meaning of life at a well-appointed vacation home.
• Sex with a pro who's spent decades working on his body.

Cons of being The Younger Man:

• Being patronized by mate's friends with less appreciation for, or intense jealousy of, youth.
  
• Adding to or shaving off a few years for everyone's parents' sake.
  
• Being mistaken for the cater-waiter, or worse, the son.
  
• Often coming in second. (see The Careerist)
• The persistent dread that one day soon his ass is going to drop like a fallen soufflé.

Leading Younger Men:

(l to r: Lorenzo Martone, Jesus Luz, Jonathan Adler, Tom Ford, Brooks Perlin)

The Verdict on The Younger Man:
Helen Gurley Brown, '60s icon, author of ground breaking Sex and the Single Girl, former editor of Cosmopolitan and a Younger Woman herself once said, "Always marry someone older because no matter how old you get, you'll always be the babe." Wise words from a woman who's always had her priorities in order.

Tranny Vocab Lesson 14 : The Careerist

Attention, kiddies - it's time to put on your thinking caps because Tranny Vocab is about to resume. In this series, The Tranny Times explores the varied and wonderful lexicon of Williamsburg trannies. Today's lesson is The Careerist.

The Careerist [th ee kuh-reer-ist] noun. The pursuit of professional advancement is his top priority; this gay is all business, even when at play.

What to look out for: The Careerist is the Venus Flytrap of gay men. His underwear model looks will distract you, his well-rehearsed cocktail party banter will maintain your interest and his tony co-op with its closet full of impeccably cut suits and pictures of friends at his house on Water Island will have you thinking husband. Not so fast, girl. The Careerist prefers his men like his salad dressing: on the side. The Careerist is the perennial bachelor that everyone would like to catch, the missing half of everyone's GPC. The Careerist would make a fantastic mate if he wasn't already married . . . to his job. Don't get it twisted, sister, you'll always be the other woman.

Tranny Vocab Lesson 13 : Control Queen

Attention, kiddies - it's time to put on your thinking caps because Tranny Vocab is about to resume. In this series, The Tranny Times explores the varied and wonderful lexicon of Williamsburg trannies. Today's lesson is Control Queen.

Control Queen [kuhn-trohl kween] noun. The kind of gay guy who's wound a little too tightly. This girl can't put down her Blackberry long enough to answer her iPhone even on Sunday, even at brunch. This one is obsessed with maintaining order, position, image, and self-image. No matter how small her empire, a control queen is the regent. She's got advanced stages of F.O.M.O. and "grass is always greener" disease. The poor thing can't bottom to save her life for her anal retentive compulsion.

In Context : The Control Queen abounds in New York. This city filled with entitled, over-achieving, up-and-coming power gays is a hub of control freaks all trying to climb the ladder. In an attempt to maintain power, the Control Queen displays characteristics that betray her inner insecurities : negativity, snobbery, and boastfulness. While every tranny in this city is trying to carve out her niche, transparent personality flaws are never cute. The cure for the common Control Queen : a psychiatrist, a power top and Blackberry deprivation therapy.

Tranny Vocab Lesson 12 : Wind Your Neck [In]

Attention, kiddies - it's time to put on your thinking caps because Tranny Vocab is about to resume. In this series, The Tranny Times explores the varied and wonderful lexicon of Williamsburg trannies. Today's lesson is Wind Your Neck [In].

Wind Your Neck [In] [wahynd yohr nek in] verb. what you should tell anyone to do if they: a) be all up in your Kool-Aid; b) are completely out of line on a topic and need to be wrecked with; or c) just look like someone who needs to pull it back a few steps before they get a vodka soda splashed in their grill.

Appropriate Uses:
While engaged in conversations with friends who are infamous for getting out of line; when you're waiting for drink at Boiler Room on Friday night and someone tries to step in front of you; when you're on the L in the morning and some bitch decides to have a full-on conversation with their friend in your ear (BEFORE you've had your morning latte).

Example of Usage: "Did you hear what Alice said about Lady Gaga? I mean....she needs to WIND HER NECK [in]."

Close Cousins:
Reign-it-in; Check yourself

Note: If you're feeling extra ghetto one day, can be led with 'Oh no you di-int'

Tranny Vocab Lesson 11 : Boyfriend Cute

Attention, kiddies - it's time to put on your thinking caps because Tranny Vocab is about to resume. In this series, The Tranny Times explores the varied and wonderful lexicon of Williamsburg trannies. Today's lesson is Boyfriend Cute.






Boyfriend Cute [boi-friend] adjective: the guy you see yourself shopping Chelsea Passage at Barneys with, sitting across the table from you at Fiore for Sunday brunch and waking up to for the rest of your life -- or at least the foreseeable future.

Boyfriend Cute Musts: A guy is boyfriend cute when you see him across the room/train/Fire Island ferry and your mind and penis both get excited. He has a great smile, engaging personality and likes you just as much as you like him. He's boyfriend cute when you like his clothes and his friends enough to borrow both. He's boyfriend cute when he has a job you're actually interested in hearing about and the goals your working toward, too. Boyfriend cute: you know it when you meet it.

Tranny Vocab 10 : Ra-GA

Attention, kiddies - it's time to put on your thinking caps because Tranny Vocab is about to resume. In this series, The Tranny Times explores the varied and wonderful lexicon of Williamsburg trannies. Today's lesson is Ra-GA



Ra-GA (Rachel-Gaga) [raw-gah] noun: A very fashionable tranny with style influence and celebrity. One who mixes street couture, prêt-a-porter and copious amounts of accessories with ease. Preferably friends with Marc as well.

Appropriate use: Scenario-- you are perusing in Soho with your favorite gal-pal when get get knocked aside by an oversize Balanciaga. "Did you see that Raga? Her headpiece almost got caught in my extensions."

Tranny Vocab Lesson 9: Gay Power Couple

Attention, kiddies - it's time to put on your thinking caps because Tranny Vocab is about to resume. In this series, The Tranny Times explores the varied and wonderful lexicon of Williamsburg trannies. Today's lesson is GPC or Gay Power Couple.

GPC (Gay Power Couple) [gee-pee-see] noun: the union of two rockstar homos forming an unstoppable force on business, fame and social fronts. (additional reading: Power Gay)

The GPC formula
Gays who escape their boondock beginnings and make it to any big city are overachievers by nature. When two power queens or über-sucessful Sapphos meet and fall in love, their combined power is multiplied many times more than the sum of their respective parts. For a GPC to be a true GPC, both gays must bring something to the table. For example, Marc Jacobs was not in a GPC when dating Jason Preston because Jason Preston was, well, a prostitute. MJ is now in a GPC with PR and social powerhouse Lorenzo Martone. But beware, the math doesn't always work. Despite being one part Nickelodeon exec. and one part media powerhouse, the Kelli Carpenter Rosie O'Doneell union was never a GPC, end of discussion. The newest Manhattan GPC is Broadway stars Jonathan Groff and Gavin Creel. One is a Tony award nominee for "Spring Awakening" and the other is the star or "Hair", a classic GPC equation.
GPCs Simon Doonan and Jonathan Adler, Ellen DeGeneres and Portia De Rossi, Lorenzo Martone and Marc Jacobs

Tranny Vocab Lesson 8: Gong

Attention, kiddies - it's time to put on your thinking caps because Tranny Vocab is about to resume. In this series, The Tranny Times explores the varied and wonderful lexicon of Williamsburg trannies. Today's lesson is Gong.


Gong [gawng] noun: terminal fail, complete disaster, an utter disappointment

History and Usage: The concept of Gong originates in the 1970's variety show parody "The Gong Show". On the show, contestants presented their acts before a panel of judges who scored them on a scale of 1 to 10. When an act was particularly heinous, a gong was brought on stage and struck and the act would immediately come to an end. Also, it was the '70s and everyone was high as a fucking kite on Columbian marching powder so . . . yeah there's that, too.

Trannies use Gong today to describe a person, place or thing that is a true mess or let down. For example, "Sugarland on Friday is a real gong show.", "The guy I took home last night was a gonger by the light of day.", "That party is on the Jefferson stop so I'm going to preordain that a gong right now."

Tranny Vocab Lesson 7 : Bossy Bottom

Attention, kiddies - it's time to put on your thinking caps because Tranny Vocab is about to resume. In this series, The Tranny Times explores the varied and wonderful lexicon of Williamsburg trannies. Today's lesson is Bossy Bottom.

Bossy Bottom [baw-see ⋅ bot-uh-m] noun: In technical terms, a dominant recipient of anal intercourse. The Bossy Bottom is accustomed to telling his mate when he wants it, where and how. This behavior usually extends beyond the bedroom into everyday life where he passively but aggressively attempts to manipulate his mate's behavior through whining, pointed text messages and loaded questions.

Expert Testimony:
Lindsay Lohan played the bossy bottom role in her relationship with Samantha Ronson. Below is her musical deposition on bossy bottom behavior.

Tranny Vocab Lesson 6 : YSL

Attention, kiddies - it's time to put on your thinking caps because Tranny Vocab is about to resume. In this series, The Tranny Times explores the varied and wonderful lexicon of Williamsburg trannies. Today's lesson is YSL.

YSL [wahy-es-el] noun: Your Stalky Loner, Yuckie Sketchy Loner, Yeddish Sketchy Loner (see Hasidic guys on the DL at Metropolitan), etc.

Origin: In F/W07, a TTT editor attended a private party in the East Village. Being the fabulous extrovert that he is, he struck up a conversation with a vertically challenged wallflower. The conversation was stilted and the TTTer made a break for it to the Phoenix. The wallflower followed him and his friends to the Phoenix where he asked out the TTT. TTT demurred. On a separate occasion, wallflower appeared and asked TTT out again and was again declined. The wallflower morphed into Your Stalky Loner during summer09 in the Pines: always alone (always), always lurking with sideways glances and sweaty palms, he's the ultimate stalky loner.

Tranny Vocab Lesson 5 : F.O.M.O.

Attention, kiddies - it's time to put on your thinking caps because Tranny Vocab is about to resume. In this series, The Tranny Times explores the varied and wonderful lexicon of Williamsburg trannies. Today's lesson is F.O.M.O.

F.O.M.O. [foh-moh] noun: Fear Of Missing Out: The phobia of missing out on something, anything, from a gift with purchase at Kiehl's to a secret Beyonce appearance at Splash, by not being ready, willing and available.

"Bitch has F.O.M.O. She's out every night watching the door, waiting for her dream top to walk in."

Tranny Vocab Lesson 4: Power Gay

Attention, kiddies - it's time to put on your thinking caps because Tranny Vocab is about to resume. In this series, The Tranny Times explores the varied and wonderful lexicon of Williamsburg trannies. Today's lesson is Power Gay.

Power Gay: [pou-er gey] noun: a best of breed homosexual. Homosexual men who have attained a high level of notoriety and influence within a particular sphere through their own efforts, accident of birth, or a combination of the two.

Power Gays are prominent gay men widely known as a result of their professional accomplishments or fruitful attempts at social success. Power Gays are easily identified by their well maintained anatomy, immaculately groomed visage and precisely edited wardrobe. Power Gays inhabit the West Village, Tribeca and Chelsea and spend time in Provence Town, Los Angeles, Bar Harbor, Palm Beach, Mykonos, London and the Hamptons. Power Gaydom caps out when said Power Gay begins to look more than 50 years old, at which point he transitions into Older Gay.


Examples of New York Power Gays: half of design team Proenza Schouler Lazaro Hernandez, Daniel Benedict and Andrew Saffir of the Tribeca Film Festival, New York Magazine's Chris Rovzar, Peter Davis editor at large for Paper, Peter Bacanovic Martha Stewart's old stockbroker now CEO of Fred Leighton, potter/designer and partner to Simon Doonan's, Jonathan Adler

Tranny Vocab Lesson 3: Sleep-and-Scram

Attention, kiddies - it's time to put on your thinking caps because Tranny Vocab is about to resume. In this series, The Tranny Times explores the varied and wonderful lexicon of Williamsburg trannies. Today's lesson is Sleep-and-Scram.

We all do it, and more-than-likely on a weekly basis. I mean, what else are Saturday nights for?

Sleep-and-scram, [sleep-uhnd-skram] verb: The act of going home with a boy you've never met before and shimmy-ing in the sheets (at your place or his, as long as it's off the L) in a drunken stuper, only to wake-up and take-off as soon as possible - no exchange of numbers, no brunch invites, no plans for the future. Simply put - rub gingies, sleep, wake-up and then skidoots.

"I mean, he came up to me, bought me a drink and then started making out with me - so I went home with him. It was a last-call-booty-call. I woke up and dashed - it was totes a sleep-and-scram."

Tranny Vocab Lesson 2 : WAMR

Attention, kiddies - it's time to put on your thinking caps because Tranny Vocab is about to resume. In this series, The Tranny Times explores the varied and wonderful lexicon of Williamsburg trannies. Today's lesson is WAMR.




WAMR: [wammer] noun: one who works as a waiter, actor, model or in a retail store.
"I hooked up with this guy last weekend but he turned out to be a WAMR, so I'm not going to bother."

WAMRs can be found in all 50 states and in every borough of the great city of New York, but are most populous in the 11211. Prone to self-aggrandizing and living well beyond their means, WAMRs keep odd hours and perform jobs that do not produce interesting dinner party conversation. WAMRs, by definition, are WAMRs for life - one is not a WAMR if he or she is also perusing one of the following: higher-education, an unpaid internship, a book deal or amnesty from a repressive government regime. WAMR is a blanket term that includes personal trainers, masseurs, personal assistants, dog walkers, etc.

Tranny Vocab Lesson 1 : Get Over Yourself

Attention, kiddies - it's time to put on your thinking caps because Tranny Vocab is about to begin. In this series, The Tranny Times explores the varied and wonderful lexicon of Williamsburg trannies. Today's lesson is Get Over Yourself.


Get over yourself. is a term most often said by exasperated trannies who are mad about something but not sure what so they put it all on you. Get over yourself. provokes many existential questions in the thinking tranny's mind: Who is 'your', and what should 'your' be over? You? I hope so!

Let's explore the possible meanings behind Get over yourself:

1) Get Over Yourself: What is said to someone who takes themselves a bit too seriously and is one snotty way to tell someone "chill out already".

2) Get Over Yourself: Patronizing phrase used to tell someone that you believe they hold too high an opinion of themselves, or are behaving in a conceited or pompous manner.

3) Get Over Yourself: a phrase little pussies use when they can't win an argument with a real counterpoint.

4) Get Over Yourself: If you're the one saying it you're JEALOUS.

Choose your own adventure when it comes to interpreting the meaning behind Get over yourself. but remember, it says far more about the person saying it than it does the intended audience.