Wednesday, September 30, 2009


Before the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Before Peaches. Before GA (!), there was Courtney. Tonight at Eastern Bloc celebrate James Barch's birthday with the ripped tangled blood blistered Night of 1000 Courtney Loves. It's a starbellied salute to the godmother of grunge glam. We'll see you in your babydoll dress and/or a peignoir set in blue lace, but only after your chemical wedding and a chemical peal. Are you pretty on the inside, are you ugly from the back? Find out tonight!

Williamsburg Tranny Shoots V Man

Williamsburg tranny and fashion photographer, Rocky Luten*, landed his first covershot this month as his image of James Franco graces the front of VMan Fall 09. Mazel, Rocky! Work a photo credit!

*don't waste your time boys, Rocky is straight.

Best for Day 12: BCN

A little best for day from across the pond. This TTT editor is taking a much needed holiday taking in Barcelona's beauty. Known for its Gaudian wonders, Barcelona has beauty oozing out of its pores. Where else would you find this sexy little number surrounded by bronzed gods on the beach? BNC = best for day.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Binge & Purge

Hola, Kitties. Here are this weeks binge-and-purge guidelines. Soak it up, Kitty-Kats! Binge on the below and for God's sake, please purge the latter block of resentment. Reign it in, trannies. Regin it in.

1. Your Gym Membership: Yes to bi
nging on your gym membership, but no to binging on the steam rooms. The summer is over, kitty-kats. No longer can you take long, calorie-burning walks from Metro to your tricks place. No longer can you go for a run over the Williamsburg bridge and loop McCarren Park. Get back in the swing of things and reinstate your weekly post-work gym routines - but stay out of the steam room! Have some class and go down on someone you go home from a bar with, rather than the married, closeted Wall Street Broker at your local Equinox.

2. Dinner Parties: Gather up all the goodies at the last of the farmer's markets and invite your tranny-troop over for a dinner party. Make a playlist, stock up on wine and roll-up those sleeves. It's time to light some candles and cook with friends. Dinner parties are best for fall, as they allow for intimate conversation with your closest cats. Make it somewhat formal, too! Require your boo-besties to dress up and add that element of class.

3. Donating Your Time: Volunteer at your local kid's art non-profit. Buy a ticket to a charity dinner/gala that benefits your community. There are plenty of events/activities/charities you can sink your teeth into and make yourself a contributing tranny. The National Equality March is just around the corner. Mark 10/10 and 10/11 on your calendar and make the trek to D.C. Even Lady GaGa is on the tranny wagon. The Ga herself is hosting a party to raise money and provide FREE transportation for you and your gaggle of gays to get to and from the march. There is no excuse!

Europhilia: It doesn't matter that your mother is Dutch, you housed a Swedish foreign exchange student, you studied abroad in college and you are uncircumcised. If you live in the United States in 2009, show some pride! You're probably still used to the Bush-era habit of claiming to be Canadian, stretching the time you've spent overseas and embracing anything euro, but it's a new day! We've got a black Democrat in the Executive Office, traction on gay marriage and a lively health care debate in both houses of Congress: the U.S. is almost progressive! It's time to retire the track jacket, cool the heels of your futuristic trainers and turn down the Ministry of Sound podcast. If there has ever been a time to embrace being American and show a little love for the red, white and blue, it's now.

2. Faceless Contacts: It's time to scroll through your address book and get rid of all those tickity-tack tricks you have no grasp on. Why keep them in your phone if you have to wonder who the hell they are when you get that booty text at 3:00 a.m. Consolidate your class and start fresh. Start connecting faces to names and remember who you've made out with at the Mothership for more than the hour it takes to find someone else to "split a cab" home with.

3. Worn Out Tranny Panties: We ALL have them. Your stand-by, "Oh shit!" I have no clean clothes undergarments. It's time to get rid of all your faded/ripped/aged undies. Make an investment and replenish stock in the drawers drawer. You never know when you are going to find yourself in your skivvies when you least expect it. Even more, it will make YOU feel better about yourself. Get it in check.

Best For Day 11

A bold color combination paired with interesting shapes is terribly inviting and best for day.

Tranny Treks: BALTIMORE

Ah Baltimore. Founded as a seaport town in 1729, this tranny enclave has been a hub for homo-delights since Washington trolled the docks for sailor-ass 250 years ago. Baltimore was the site of Revolutionary battles, Civil War skirmishes and a devastating great fire. It's also the salty spot that gave us John Waters, Divine, beehives and most of what Generation-Y Trannies identify as high camp. D.C.'s not-right stepsister, Baltimore is basically a B52s video come to life.

Below are brief observations observations of how B'more stacks up to Williamsburg:

Saturday evening festivities:
11211- Your boyfriend has friends in from out of town. Drinks, 8pm, at Hotel Delmano. Dinner, 9 pm, at Fiore
. Home for after-dinner drinks, Lady Gaga remixes and a brief trunk show before retiring.

21224 - Afternoon drinks for 6 at a your Inner Harbor condo or Mt. Vernon townhouse. Dinner at 7pm at City Cafe. A shit-faced stumbled across the street to Grand Central for vodka, beer and cruising around 10:30pm. An Amy Winehouse amble across the other street to Club Hippo for last year's remixes and ex-boyfriend drama till 2AM.

Libation of choice:
11211- Something off Hotel Delmano's signature menu or a manhattan straight up. Wine at Fiore. Vodka soda at the trunk show.

21224- Two paths: vodka from happy hour to last call or beer all night long.

Tracks on the dance floor:
11211- Keep it cool, what's the name of this club? I don't remember but it's alright, a-alright, Just Dance . . . I’m gonna party, yeah, Cause anybody just won’t do, Let’s get this started, yeah Cause everybody wants to party with you . . .

21224- Pink remixes, Rihanna "Shut-up and Drive" club-dub, Journey remixes

11211 - You, your banker/lawyer/med school boyfriend, his married friends from college, both PhD students.

21224 - You, your lawyer/Reator®/nurse boyfriend, a Starbucks barista, his dentist-boyfriend, a Home Depot dyke and a community college drama major

But, the most notable difference.........
21224 - COMMUNITY UNITY! Gays in the 21224 are all part of one big LGBT pie. Nellies are friends with dykes, WAMRs (which abound) date guys with 401ks, Porsches share parking lots with F-150s and trannies dance with Emo girls.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Best for Saturday Morning

Date Night leave you scratching your head? Soothe it with a little Gossip Girl gay fan fiction set to The Magnetic Fields' "I Thought You Were My Boyfriend." . . . some guys have a beer and they'll do anything . . . anything.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Best for Night!

Kiddies, its the first official Friday of fall; for the first time in Trannydom history, all of us at TTT have decided to follow our own advice and do Friday night right. Date Night. Lets edge into autumn with a respectable gent. Double dates can calm your anxiety storm if there is no xanax in your RX cabinet. Remember: keep the outfit crisp yet casual and don't over do it on the pre-dinner cocktails. Will look forward to hearing about the successful and not so successful attempts.

Best For Day 10

There's a chill on the breeze today that reminds us truly cool temperatures are just around the corner. You can start shelving plans for days spent in McCarren Park until next spring and begin planning some indoor entertaining at home. Kepping an attractive apartment with dust-free Adlers and polished Room and Board is a no-brainer for having people over, but how often do you consider not what your guests see but what they smell? Next time you're out, pop into the Le Labo lab at Barneys. They have simply the best scents for home - they're the ones responsible for the heavenly, spice scent at the Gramercy Park Hotel, after all. Finding your home's signature scent is best for day.

Missed Connections 4

The Tranny Times believes in love. Whether it takes you to a Wainscot colonial with a white picket fence or to White Castle after the lights come up at The Mothership, we support men meeting men! As a public service, The Tranny Times trolls Craigslist Missed Connections looking for ads from the love lorn. Each week we collect the best.

Chaser in the Burg!
You two have been toegther a while now. Always see you in the hood. One has long curly hair, the other has short hair. Noticed that the long haired dude is packing on some pounds. You were in an orange shirt yesterday walking home. So just wanted to say....I think that new belly looks kinda hot on you!! Keep eating. And check out the August 12 New York Times article online called It's Hip to be Round.
Put your cubs on lockdown!:

Dear 85% of Men who go to New York Sports Club:
You saw me in the locker room in NYSC. I glanced at y ou and our eyes met. I quickly broke the eye contact because you ripped off your towel and had your big cock semi-hard and hanging out. I did have to look a couple more times. If you read this, mail me. and tell me what i look like. Since this is an ad - Ill say this Im above average looking, in good form, and around parkslope area.
Please towel dry the equipment after use:

Short answer: They don't.

Clinton-Washington Subway Stop. Lots of good looking gay guys at the C stop this morning. Where do the gays hang out in this neighborhood?
Long answer:

Uhh . . . he just wanted a smoke.
You bummed a cig off me today as I was walking over the bridge into Soho. You had beautiful eyes. Hit me up if you want to grab a drink.
Whatever, it's a free drink:

38, biking and texting = gay danger
So I was in the middle of some stupid texting when you caught my eye. And I mighta caught yours. I was on a red bike, pedaled past you, got cold feet for some reason. Or I didn't want your take-out food to get cold? You're cute as hell.
Slow your roll:

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Binge & Purge

Hola, Kitties. Here are this weeks binge-and-purge guidelines. Soak it up, Kitty-Kats! Binge on the below and for God's sake, please purge the latter block of resentment. Reign it in, trannies. Regin it in.

Tie clips: Hello, Mad Men. Tie clips are back, and will hold it back. Fall is on its way, and with it comes brisk weather, color changing leaves and gusts of wind. Keep your tie in place and always look as dapper as Don Draper. You can find these at your local vintage shop or your favorite distinguished retailer. Respect the color and pattern (where applicable) of your tie and be sure to coordinate your clip to accent its base, rather than clash with it.

Well-hemmed pants: Give it up, trannies. None of you are sample size. What makes you think you can buy right off the rack? I’ve seen your nugget legs tranny-tramping all over Billy Burg. Well-hemmed pants will give you clean, smooth lines, and will actually make you look taller – the fabric won’t bunch or self-cuff at the bottom when tailored correctly. Ladies recommend good Gynos, gays recommend good tailors.

3. Restaurants offering recession-style specials: Tranny-at-large Jill Zarin scouts out deals – why aren’t you? Restaurant Week pricing can still be found city-wide, even in W Burg. Share your finds with your fellow trannies. Some dining digs even offer all you can drink lunches. Get on it! List your dining deals in the comments section.

4. Crushes: Notice yourself shying away from last-call booty calls and looking for a snuggle buddy? As the weather changes, so does our desire to frolic freely. Crushes are best for fall. Let yourself get swept up in a boy. Let him take you out. Take him out! Just have fun. Don’t think about it. Don’t overanalyze it (that’s what winter relationships are for). Fall crushes are all about fun. Who knows, it might turn into something! If not, at least you had a nice boy to think of at inopportune moments, e.g., boring conference calls.

1. Shoes without socks: Come on boys…ahem...girls. Per previous posts, fall is on its way. Throw on a colorful pair of socks (like the stunners spotted this weekend at Barneys) and fill the void between your well-hemmed slacks and classic Oxfords. We will all sorely miss our shoes-sans-socks days, but at least we can look back at them as fond memories. Fall = prep.

2. Indoor sunglass wearing; No description needed, just don’t do it. Call me when you get over yourself (and you get a bush).

3. Anti-social weekdays: I know, I know. You work. A LOT! Don’t we all?! We’re all doing the job of two people in this recession just to keep the deeds to our cubicles/offices, but it doesn’t mean we have to suffer more than necessary. Make weekday plans with friends, aforementioned crushes and colleagues (only if they are tranny-friendly). Don’t get stuck in a rut of going to work, coming home late, ordering take out, rubbing one out and then going to bed. Attend a happy hour, gallery opening, dinner party, etc. Don’t let the daily grind diminish your social life. Make it happen.

4. Pining for your ex: Get over it! An item in today's Page Six recounts the tale of Jenifer Aniston (who we have previously purged, mind you) being “unable” to leave her trailer on the set of "The Bounty" to film a scene with Gerard Butler - telling her assistant, "I need a moment. This scene reminds me of Brad and me." Jen and Brad were married for five years, four years ago. Even by the flaky SATC rule that implies it takes half the time you were with someone to get over them, Jen is over the limit. Whether it's the bi-curious boy who broke your pansy heart in middle school or the "trick that got away" from the Ascension Party this summer, it is time to build a bridge and get over it. Purge being hung-up (sorry, Madge) and leave what happened in the past where it belongs.

Best For Day 9

Having a scoop of ice cream après lunch at The General Greene in Ft. Greene is best for day.

Zac leaves Dresses Behind for Interior Design

Zac Posen is def one of TTT's favorite imaginary boyfriends, so we were saddened to hear that his company is probs going belly up. Lucky for Zacsy, he's got another gig lined up. Posen is teaming up with Morris Adjmi on a luxury residential project near the Flatiron building. Posen will be doing interiors, natch. It's great to hear that he's got something to keep him busy while he sorts out his fashion label, we just hope he doesn't go the way of another promising, young, New York designer. The one whose name rhymes with Bissac Bizrahi, who went bankrupt early on, diversified himself too thinly to make ends meet and has been "making a comeback" for the last decade. Mazel tov on the project Zac! We hope it all works out!

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Spotted @ Sugarbabies

Last night marked the inaugural Sugarbabies happy hour of the 2009-2010 season. One Tuesday a month, from September to April, a swarm of the city's pretties descend upon the unlikely Townhouse for drinks from 6 to 10pm . . . or last man standing. Sugarbabies lowers the landmark gay establishment's mean age from "eligible for Social Security" to "just graduated Brown" -- hence the event's name. The Townhouse insists upon a strict dress code which the Sugarbabies adhere to to a tee: a collared shirt is requisite but most 'babies take this opportunity to sport tweeds, bow ties and better loafers. Spotted downing martinis around the baby grand . . . architects Ben Salling and Bryan Hale along with banker-boyfriend Nicholas Sebastian D'Angelo . . . LL.M. candidate Anderson Duff and Patroon Restaurant's head of private events Beth Harrell . . . Michael Mohrlang and Glen Cunningham . . . media buyer turned model Eboni Inge and Kari Green, currently at Liz Claiborne . . . Nathan Kipe and Laure Borot visiting from Paris . . . Matt Maddox (as always) with p.r. girl Tim Rathschmidt . . .

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Best for Date

First dates can say a lot. Fiore is the perfect place to take your best-prospect for fall. Reliably good food and a warm atmosphere with non-threatening prices. Wear that new knit- and play footsie under a patio table or for those short on conversation, sit near the action of the open kitchen in the back. The wood fired pizzas are great and the wine list wont require a second trip to the ATM (cash only). For those not looking to romance autumn away, Fiore is a cozy spot to meet up with your ladies for a glass after work.

Best for Day 8 : A Lesson

A crowded L train can feel like a tranny trapeze. When there's no real estate on the floorboard, you've got to get creative and hang in there whichever way you can. But that's no excuse for a literal interpretation of acrobat-chic. Keeping it tight is a priority for us all, but you'll never land under the big top without good circulation to your money-makers. Body consciousness, not body contortionist, is best for day.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Is Details calling us all Pretentious Tools?

Once-cool Details magazine is pulling the reverse snobbery card and it hits close to our tranny homes. The October issue, with Clive Owen on the cover, lists "63 Signs You May Be A Pretentious Tool", never mind the fact that these are the exact behaviors their advertisers and editorial board have worked for a decade to instill in men of all sexual predilections-- we editors at TTT hit on more than a dozen of these just over the last weekend and listed some of the most familiar below with our rebuttal given in red.

4. You have a travel outfit and it coordinates. Since when have sweatpants in business class EVER been acceptable.
5. You're "way over" Wayfarers. Ahem.
6. You've taken an inspiration photo to your hairstylist. Those F/W'10 ads were TO DIE.
7. You think about the lighting at restaurants. Who Eats!?
8. You own eye cream and you use it. Crows feet at 30? I think not.
9. You host brunch. How else would you show off the new Jonathan Adler credenza?
13. You don't let your girlfriend borrow your sweaters, because you're afraid she'll stretch them out. Nothing says attractive like man-boobs in your MJ cashmere crew.
16. White jeans. As long as you are not on a date.
20. You have a facialist and you see her more than your parents. Parents are for Christmas and Easter. Like Church.
26. You can name an architect who isn't one of the Franks. Uh, yes, we graduated from college.
29. Moleskin. vs. what? Palm pilot? please.
30. You've referred to an event as a gala. HELLO! It's not the Met Party.
32. You've recommended your tailor to a friend. . . . and our salon, best shopboy, most loyal dealer . . .
33. You know this great little tapas place. This is New York, everywhere has become a great little tapas place.
43. You'd go to Miami only for Basel. When Madonna left, so did we.
44. You photograph your food. FUCK YOU, Details. Also, see #7.
56. You know the difference between skinny and stovepipe. And we know the difference between cerulean and topaz.
57. You've sung the praises of a professional shave. See #20.
59. You think Marni is fantastic. -- Best for laundry day.
63. You don't vacation -- you holiday. Ok, maybe this is a little pretentious.

Friday, September 18, 2009

It's Friday! Don't Be Tardy for the Party!

It's Friday, trannies! In the words of lyrical genius and RHOA, Kim Zolciak, "Forget about working, the stress of the week. Party all night and we won't go to sleep." See you at the Mothership!

Tranny Texts

Lunchtime text from a friend of TTT:
I have hooked up with two boys currently working on the first floor at Saks. No more WAMRS!

Spotted @ Galapagos Art Space

Venue: Galapagos Art Space DUMBO
SPOTTED: floppy-haired, cropped trenched, custom framed wearing non-WAMRs.
Vedict: Fab. This once a month gay party is def all the rage. A breath of fresh air from WAMRdome and the Mothership-- this is one weeknight party worth trying to get into. The Gayletter boys were in attendance along with ivy-clad elite and the new pack of wall street boys. Get it on your outlooks trannies-- A MUST for fall.

Tranny Vocab Lesson 6 : YSL

Attention, kiddies - it's time to put on your thinking caps because Tranny Vocab is about to resume. In this series, The Tranny Times explores the varied and wonderful lexicon of Williamsburg trannies. Today's lesson is YSL.

YSL [wahy-es-el] noun: Your Stalky Loner, Yuckie Sketchy Loner, Yeddish Sketchy Loner (see Hasidic guys on the DL at Metropolitan), etc.

Origin: In F/W07, a TTT editor attended a private party in the East Village. Being the fabulous extrovert that he is, he struck up a conversation with a vertically challenged wallflower. The conversation was stilted and the TTTer made a break for it to the Phoenix. The wallflower followed him and his friends to the Phoenix where he asked out the TTT. TTT demurred. On a separate occasion, wallflower appeared and asked TTT out again and was again declined. The wallflower morphed into Your Stalky Loner during summer09 in the Pines: always alone (always), always lurking with sideways glances and sweaty palms, he's the ultimate stalky loner.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Best For Evening

RHONY, Jill Zarin demonstrates Alexander McQueen as best for evening.

Gay, Gray, Thursday

From the Roundlet Series by Annette Davidek (2002), found at JMZ stations in Brooklyn.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Binge & Purge

Hola, Kitties. Here are your post-FNO binge-and-purge guidelines. Soak it up, Kitty-Kats! Binge on the below and for God's sake, please purge the latter block of resentment. Reign it in, trannies. Regin it in.

Fall Cardigans: Just as the leaves fall to the ground, so should cardigans off the rack and into your closet. Cardigans are best for Fall - they're a quick and simple cover-up when a chill peaks around the corner. Easy-on and easy-off make this fall must-have essential for any Tranny-about town.

2. Côtes du Rhône: This varietal of red wine has been in production since Roman times and is sure to please. These wines originate in the Rhône valley in France, south of Lyon to the Mediterranean Sea. Depth ranges from a full body red (northern region) to a light to medium fruity red wine (southern region). There are quite a few well-priced bottles throughout B-burg just ready for the pickin'.

3. Slightly Older Beaus: Either sweep those young, recently graduated from twink-dom summer tricks out the door or under the rug because slightly older Beaus are all the rage. A nice, successful man in his mid-30s will treat you with respect, drown you with affection and make you feel as though you are the only Tranny in the room. They're (generally) more well-adjusted than your typical WAMR and usually come with the benefit of a roommate-less love palace.

Canvas Tote Bags: These have been all the rage as your carry-all to McCarren Park or your summer edition Man-purse. Utilizing for quick trips to Sunac or Khim's for a few groceries, however is still acceptable. Switch your murse from a canvas tote to a classic attache case or a leather-clad dressed-up version. Hand-carried bags are still best for Fall, just make sure they're a bit more grown-up - much like your new slightly older Beau!

2. Summer Scarves: These weren't appropriate when you were sweating through them at Sugarland during one of NY's heat waves, why should they be appropriate as Autumn sets in? The worst offender of all is clearly the Middle Eastern-inspired summa scarf. David Beckham rocked this neck warmer years ago. Enough said. A warm welcome is extended to lightweight wool and organic cotton long, layered scarves.

3. Beach Day Trips: It's sad but true. Time to pack-up your sunscreen and Speedos and put away your beach blankets. No longer can we hop on the LIRR or head to Coney Island for a day of fun, sun and vodka-filled Nalgene bottles. You may, however, still have a few opportunities to lay out on Tar Beach and soak up the last of the remaining summer rays.

Best for (Wednes)day-(Sun)day:

Feeling out of touch, listless, or not quite your active, fabulous self? Then check out! Each Wednesday these boys tell you exactly what you should be doing for the next five days of your life. No more listless t-girl! Think of it as a DailyCandy made just for the L-train-riding tranny set!

Missed Connections 3

The Tranny Times believes in love. Whether it takes you to a Wainscot colonial with a white picket fence or to White Castle after the lights come up at The Mothership, we support men meeting men! As a public service, The Tranny Times trolls Craigslist Missed Connections looking for ads from the love lorn. Each week we collect the best.

Wet Spot on Aisle 4:
Hey.... I know this is crazy.... I was sitting in Sunac tonight Tuesday evening. You were checking out. Then we made eye contact, you smiled once and then again and then again. You have a dark beard. really cute. You should've came back and talked to me. I hope you find this. Talk to you soon...
Squeeze his melon:

We could talk or not talk forever. And still find something to not talk about:
hey Karl, we chatted last night at Sugarland, but after you went to get a drink, i couldn't find you anymore... pity! i would like to continue the chat on another occasion. don't be shy like last night (i am too, LOL). your friend had to intervene to get us to speak to one another. i am glad he did that. if you read this, get back to me and tell me what your friend did, so that we can start talking and go for a longer chat sometime. cheers
If you want to talk or chat:

If I wanted to play Clue I would have called Hasbro:
Hey You were at the lazy catfish tuesday, the nadal v monfils match was on, you were standing in front of the tv behind the bar, You had fair features, blond, light eyes, gray shirt, jeans, a messenger bag, and you were talking with two people. I was sitting behind you at a table with friends, I had a hat and glasses on, and a red v neck shirt. Anyway you left pretty quickly so i never had the chance to drink enough liquid courage to say hi. If youre interested in meeting up some time for a chat hit me up. To make sure its you, describe the two people you were with.
Professor Plum with the pipe in the bar:

Coming soon to Xtube:
You had a hairy chest, salmon/red tank top, white trunks, black shoes, surf board, and you were one sexy dude. we kept looking at each other. wasnt sure you were interested until before i left when we locked eyes longingly, haha. i had the short white shorts and the panther-print shirt. you know. hope you think to look on here- i could tell we could have sex for days on end!!!
Endless Summer:

There are no words:
u were a tall man with a toddler on ur shoulders and an infant in your front in a pouch. you had a great semi hard on showing thru your pants, i checked you bulge out , i was walking towards the direction u were coming from. if you read this and u want some sweet wet sloppy head, email me back.
uhhhh . . .

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Thanks for Linkin', AntiTwinkin'

Ga knows that, except flagrant WAMRdom, The Tranny Times isn't "anti" anything, so it might come as a surprise that we love - and thank Ernie for adding us to the blogroll! Check out AntiTwink and answer the burning question, "What should I be doing tonight?"

Best For Day 7: Gaga-'spiration

To use a hackneyed phrase, "Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery," and for this tranny triumph, the Ga should be quite red-faced. This tickity-tac turned out some Ga-inspired fashions based on the Lady's most famous looks. Behold Office Face, Kitchen Face and Lintroller Face:

Monday, September 14, 2009

Spotted @ Labor Day in the Fire Island Pines

Every tranny in the five boroughs knows there's nothing more quintessentially summer than a weekend in the Fire Island Pines (FIP). Of course, there are other strictly-summer necessities: the Sunday barbecue at Metropolitan, American Apparel deep-v-necks paired with short-shorts and afternoons spent cruising McCarren Park with prosecco nestled in your tranny-tote; but nothing proves you're committed to a season of tickity-tac like going in on a share in the FIP. Eying who's going to be out this weekend while waiting for the ferry, getting too wasted at the teas (low, middle and high), losing your best denim at the underwear party clothes-check and laughing at the saggy ball sacks creeping about the meat rack: these are all things that only those in the FIP-brotherhood can understand.

On this the first true Monday of Fall 2009, TTT looks back on the last weekend of summer: Labor Day in the Fire Island Pines.

In the FIP, beach time is best for day. It's all about hours spent sweating out last night's vodka and checking out who's hottest for night.

Never under estimate the pool scene. When you've got beef in the house, why go out for chicken?

...or monkey business?

Of course day-parties are best for pre-tea.

The Gold Party tore it up on Saturday:

White Diamonds shut it down for Sunday:

"These have always brought me luck..."

And of the three teas, Middle was best for Summer 2009, don't you think?

FIP 2009 was all about fun, sun, fashion and romance. Love took over, I could see your halo and the trannies just danced. It wouldn't be The Fire Island Pines without a few sightings. Spotted . . . a Speedo-clad AJ Ojeda-Pons with Gino Chmo . . . Michael Benevento and man's best friend Maya . . . must-read blogger Zee Bdr and his clickity-clack camera . . . Franco DiLuzio . . . accessory lady, Ryan Jacobs . . . ivy, Justin Carroll . . . the ever-present, ever-charming Matt Maddox . . . Project Runway's, Jack Mackenroth . . . low-Tea tranny Eddie Martinez . . . boyfriends David Leal and Eric Patz bringing the muscle . . . George Poulios . . . Medo Soliman and Nader Dajani representing the hot Arab population . . .

Trannies, Summer 2009 has come and gone, but the memories will live on forever. See you in the city...

Just Another Tranny Monday

Best for Awards

Britney who? Christina who? Beyonce who? MADONNA who?!

"For God and for the Gays."

The Lady Ga KILLED IT last night. VMA history was made.