Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Binge & Purge
Hola, Kitties. Here are your post-FNO binge-and-purge guidelines. Soak it up, Kitty-Kats! Binge on the below and for God's sake, please purge the latter block of resentment. Reign it in, trannies. Regin it in.
1. Fall Cardigans: Just as the leaves fall to the ground, so should cardigans off the rack and into your closet. Cardigans are best for Fall - they're a quick and simple cover-up when a chill peaks around the corner. Easy-on and easy-off make this fall must-have essential for any Tranny-about town.
2. Côtes du Rhône: This varietal of red wine has been in production since Roman times and is sure to please. These wines originate in the Rhône valley in France, south of Lyon to the Mediterranean Sea. Depth ranges from a full body red (northern region) to a light to medium fruity red wine (southern region). There are quite a few well-priced bottles throughout B-burg just ready for the pickin'.
3. Slightly Older Beaus: Either sweep those young, recently graduated from twink-dom summer tricks out the door or under the rug because slightly older Beaus are all the rage. A nice, successful man in his mid-30s will treat you with respect, drown you with affection and make you feel as though you are the only Tranny in the room. They're (generally) more well-adjusted than your typical WAMR and usually come with the benefit of a roommate-less love palace.
1. Canvas Tote Bags: These have been all the rage as your carry-all to McCarren Park or your summer edition Man-purse. Utilizing for quick trips to Sunac or Khim's for a few groceries, however is still acceptable. Switch your murse from a canvas tote to a classic attache case or a leather-clad dressed-up version. Hand-carried bags are still best for Fall, just make sure they're a bit more grown-up - much like your new slightly older Beau!
2. Summer Scarves: These weren't appropriate when you were sweating through them at Sugarland during one of NY's heat waves, why should they be appropriate as Autumn sets in? The worst offender of all is clearly the Middle Eastern-inspired summa scarf. David Beckham rocked this neck warmer years ago. Enough said. A warm welcome is extended to lightweight wool and organic cotton long, layered scarves.
3. Beach Day Trips: It's sad but true. Time to pack-up your sunscreen and Speedos and put away your beach blankets. No longer can we hop on the LIRR or head to Coney Island for a day of fun, sun and vodka-filled Nalgene bottles. You may, however, still have a few opportunities to lay out on Tar Beach and soak up the last of the remaining summer rays.