Tranny Vocab 16 : Trash

Attention, kiddies - it's time to put on your thinking caps because Tranny Vocab is about to resume. In this series, The Tranny Times explores the varied and wonderful lexicon of Williamsburg trannies. Today's lesson is Trash




Trash [trash] noun. One who lacks social grace, common manners and/or decency, or acts in an overall manner unacceptable beyond the DMV or KFC. Think guests on Jerry Springer or Jenny Jones or anyone who has ever willingly relocated to Nevada. We all know (or might be) one of those people who strolls up to low-key dinner parties, wasted, or stumbles into work late wearing the outfit from the previous day, or gives/receives oral sex in public bathrooms.
While everyone engages in behavior that may fall under the 'trash' umbrella sometimes, in order to be characterized as true trash, one must be a repeat offender and fulfill a certain level of criteria.
Here are some questions you might want to ask yourself when trying to determine if you're indeed trash:

• Do I own any Armani Exchange graphic t-shirts?
• Do I drink Mountain Dew?
• Do I spend my summers at the Jersey Shore?
• Does my skin look like leather?
• Do I have airbrushed tips?
• Do I have, or have ever had, blond highlights?
• Is my mobile phone be-dazzled?

While some of these attributes may seem absurd, there are others that may hit a little closer to home. Other situations that may deem you trash: You get wasted and then scan the bar and/or cocktail tables for unattended drinks to quench your thirst. You secretly bring your own booze to establishments that serve alcohol. You can't remember where you are or how you got somewhere when you wake up in the morning -- and you aren't surprised or worried. You find yourself standing on the toilets in Sugarland while your friend feeds you a bump with his apartment key.

Signature quotes of trash: "Oh, I never wear underwear on first dates. I just can't be bothered with looking all over the floor for my underwear the next morning," or "Yes I posted a pump and dump on craigslist last night -- girl's gotta get laid," or "Hell yeah -- I hit that shit and got myself OUT THE DOE'" (in reference to a crack pipe in Bedstuy).

At parties or big events, it's always easy to pick out the trash. He will be the one hoarding free drinks and hors d'oeuvre, and attempting to get into the VIP section even though he is only there because he came with a friend of a friend. Also don't be surprised if this person is seen out on the patio trying to bum cigarettes or flirting with someone's boyfriend (right in front of them). And that's when you know it's time to grab a Hefty bag -- and take out the trash.

See also: White trash, Trailer trash, Southern trash.