Monday, September 21, 2009

Is Details calling us all Pretentious Tools?

Once-cool Details magazine is pulling the reverse snobbery card and it hits close to our tranny homes. The October issue, with Clive Owen on the cover, lists "63 Signs You May Be A Pretentious Tool", never mind the fact that these are the exact behaviors their advertisers and editorial board have worked for a decade to instill in men of all sexual predilections-- we editors at TTT hit on more than a dozen of these just over the last weekend and listed some of the most familiar below with our rebuttal given in red.

4. You have a travel outfit and it coordinates. Since when have sweatpants in business class EVER been acceptable.
5. You're "way over" Wayfarers. Ahem.
6. You've taken an inspiration photo to your hairstylist. Those F/W'10 ads were TO DIE.
7. You think about the lighting at restaurants. Who Eats!?
8. You own eye cream and you use it. Crows feet at 30? I think not.
9. You host brunch. How else would you show off the new Jonathan Adler credenza?
13. You don't let your girlfriend borrow your sweaters, because you're afraid she'll stretch them out. Nothing says attractive like man-boobs in your MJ cashmere crew.
16. White jeans. As long as you are not on a date.
20. You have a facialist and you see her more than your parents. Parents are for Christmas and Easter. Like Church.
26. You can name an architect who isn't one of the Franks. Uh, yes, we graduated from college.
29. Moleskin. vs. what? Palm pilot? please.
30. You've referred to an event as a gala. HELLO! It's not the Met Party.
32. You've recommended your tailor to a friend. . . . and our salon, best shopboy, most loyal dealer . . .
33. You know this great little tapas place. This is New York, everywhere has become a great little tapas place.
43. You'd go to Miami only for Basel. When Madonna left, so did we.
44. You photograph your food. FUCK YOU, Details. Also, see #7.
56. You know the difference between skinny and stovepipe. And we know the difference between cerulean and topaz.
57. You've sung the praises of a professional shave. See #20.
59. You think Marni is fantastic. -- Best for laundry day.
63. You don't vacation -- you holiday. Ok, maybe this is a little pretentious.

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