Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Tickity-Tack Texts

A few regurgitated "texts from last night" never hurt anyone...

(567): we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Verdict: Gay, gay, gay.

(908): he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Verdict: Too tranny to tease.

(484): When he took off his pants i accidentally shouted "that is one small wiener," and that's when he left
(484): you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Verdict: Amen, sister.

(209): this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Verdict: Take pride in your work, trannies.

(917): you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Verdict: Not as long as they are labeled appropriately. Be sure to rotate and hide for each respective trick.

(815): I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Verdict: Clearly the latter.

(202): so when am I gonna get some from you?
(617): when you dick grows 3 inches
Verdict: Girl knows what she wants!

(909): I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it.
Verdict: Well, it does smell like bleach, right?

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