Thursday, February 4, 2010

Tranny Vocab Lesson 13 : Control Queen

Attention, kiddies - it's time to put on your thinking caps because Tranny Vocab is about to resume. In this series, The Tranny Times explores the varied and wonderful lexicon of Williamsburg trannies. Today's lesson is Control Queen.

Control Queen [kuhn-trohl kween] noun. The kind of gay guy who's wound a little too tightly. This girl can't put down her Blackberry long enough to answer her iPhone even on Sunday, even at brunch. This one is obsessed with maintaining order, position, image, and self-image. No matter how small her empire, a control queen is the regent. She's got advanced stages of F.O.M.O. and "grass is always greener" disease. The poor thing can't bottom to save her life for her anal retentive compulsion.

In Context : The Control Queen abounds in New York. This city filled with entitled, over-achieving, up-and-coming power gays is a hub of control freaks all trying to climb the ladder. In an attempt to maintain power, the Control Queen displays characteristics that betray her inner insecurities : negativity, snobbery, and boastfulness. While every tranny in this city is trying to carve out her niche, transparent personality flaws are never cute. The cure for the common Control Queen : a psychiatrist, a power top and Blackberry deprivation therapy.

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